How We First Met was an improv show I created that started as a one-off and grew into a worldwide movement.
I came up with the idea not long after I was newly married. I was just enchanted with the magic of how people meet. I was also hugely devoted to improv at the time, and had produced a variety of local improv shows. I struck on the idea of what it would be like to interview couples live and then reenact their stories through fun improv scenes and games.
It started as a one-time show during an improv festival. The very first show was completely sold out — a total smash sensation. I had never experienced a show like that before, and I realized there was something extremely potent about real-life stories being improvised in real time. That was my first taste of the power of real-time connection.
Just a few months later, 9/11 happened. I was in New York City when the planes crashed. It was a deeply unsettling and emotional time — for me and for much of the world. I needed something to throw myself into. A project I could invest my time and my emotional state into. And I felt like How We First Met was something that could help people.
So I created a playbook for the show — a sort of owner’s manual. This isn’t really done in improv, but I invented a process for other groups to perform the format. And it worked. Twelve improv companies all over the world — from Japan to Australia to London — performed the show on Valentine’s Day 2002. It was a big hit, especially in New York City, where the impact was huge and they told me people were moved to both tears and laughter. Some of the NYC audience members said it was the first time they had laughed since 9/11.
How We First Met was my real introduction to the power of real-time emotions, real-time theater — everything happening in the moment, and how powerful it is to experience that.
Real couples came on stage and told the story of how they met. A cast of improvisers performed it back to them, on the spot.
Fifteen years on tour
After Valentine’s Day 2002, the show kept going. For fifteen years, we collected and performed hundreds of love stories — first-date disasters, airport meet-cutes, office romances that went the distance, blind dates set up by mothers who turned out to be right.
The show played in 10 countries. I produced it with my brother, Damon Paiz. We also taught the format internationally — including a particularly fun trip to Trondheim, Norway, where a local company took the format and made it their own.
The story archive
The original site collected real couple stories from people who came to the show. Read the archive — over 100 stories grouped by Valentine’s Day show, in the couples’ own words.
Our magical 2006 run at the legendary Purple Onion was chronicled separately at backstagestories.blogspot.com — another 40+ couple stories from that season.
Show history & press
- Show history — every performance, every venue, every Valentine’s Day from the 2001 debut at SF’s Bayfront Theater through 2015.
- Press archive — coverage in NBC Bay Area, SF Chronicle, SF Examiner, San Jose Mercury, Castro Valley Forum, and more.
Watch the show
Recordings of the live show live on the How We First Met YouTube channel: youtube.com/@HowWeFirstMet.
Why this still matters
Fifteen years of watching real couples and live improvisers create connection in a room taught me the thesis behind everything I’ve built since: presence is the product. The content is the surface; the relationship is the substance. That’s the thesis behind avalonOS.
Why improv
If anything has changed the trajectory of my life, it’s improv.
I took my first improv class because I wanted to get better at speaking in public. I had a job in finance, and I would get rattled and nervous every time I had to give a presentation. Someone mentioned improv might help. I had no idea what improv was, but I took a class — taught by Barbara Scott at ACT — and it changed my life.
I can’t emphasize enough how much the concept of yes, and has made my life rich. The basic premise I learned was to accept the offers in a scene; I pretty much applied it to my whole life. Everything changed at that point.